A family as it should be

He is a photographer and lives with his wife and three children far away from the large metropolitan areas in a tranquil German region called Sauerland. The outside world perceives a completely normal family, which does not particularly attract attention. The woman is pretty and always greets in a friendly manner when a neighbor meets her in the supermarket. The children don't seem to cause any problems and are always polite and courteous. Everything seems to harmonize perfectly. However, no one knows the reason behind it all.

He is married for the second time. Contrary to his current situation, the first marriage was a disaster. "I just let my wife get away with too much," is his conclusion and he was obviously determined to do everything differently and better with his second approach. It all started with the wife, whom he obviously chose with care: “Annette comes from a very conservative family. In her childhood, the strap and the cane were considered part of good upbringing and that is only positive," he commented.

The children are brought up lovingly but strictly, according to his assessment. They have their liberties and they rarely get spanked, which is probably because there are clear rules in his house and nobody has anything to fear if they are followed. Which of course also applies to his wife, because from the start there was no question that he was the master of the house and that she had to submit to him. He made that clear to her when she moved in with him a few years ago, and she actually didn't expect anything else.

Her father had also been in charge at home. He ruled his family justly but with unyielding severity. “It was mainly the boys who felt the stick. But I can remember more than one spanking with the leather strap. It was a painful experience, especially in the summer. Then we girls wore short dresses that could be moved out of the way with a flick of the wrist. What followed then was what Father called 'tightening your pants'. And since a girl didn't wear real trousers, just thin panties, these were pulled tight between the buttocks and the leather strap then drew its burning trail on our small buttocks."

Anette works in the home office and since he also does a large part of his work from home, they sit across from each other most of the time and one knows what the other is doing. She is a very dear person. If she goes into the kitchen to make herself a coffee, it is natural for her to ask him if she can bring him one too. If she senses that he isn't really getting along with his work, she seeks a conversation with him in order to build him up. That's how a woman should be, he says: always willing to care for and support her husband.

She would never decide over his head. She would never, for example, urge him to leave at an evening event or with friends because she was bored or because she didn't feel well. "In such situations, she comes to me and discreetly asks me to leave as soon as possible and I'm happy to accommodate her."

When it comes to major decisions, she is of course consulted and her opinion is not ignored. But he has the last word and she will never allow herself to contradict his decision. The unwritten law says that whoever bears responsibility must also call the shots, and that applies to children as well as to wives.

Of course, he wants her to look pretty. But spontaneous shopping trips are taboo for her. Before she buys a new piece of clothing, she has to ask him. Always. Without exception. If she doesn't, then she knows what's in store for her. Then he'll wait until the kids are out of the house and deal with her. He will go into the bedroom with her and pick up the wide leather strap. He will order her to undress and show her that rules are there to be obeyed. In the end she will be lying in bed sobbing and wearing a good dozen welts on her bottom and thighs. Like in those days when her father took the strap to punish her.

"Children need firm rules and must fear punishment if they break one of them," he is convinced. "It's no different for women. They instinctively seek the protection of a man who will not only tell them what they can and cannot do, but will also sternly rebuke them when they have gone against his commands.”

He found the life he always wanted. He doesn't believe in equality between men and women. On the contrary, he thinks the two sexes are very different. But he thinks that both can complement each other ideally if they accept their differences. If she recognizes his strength and his determination to guide her. And if he accepts his obligation to guide her and determines the rules according to which their life has to run.

Because somehow nature already says that the man is the one who should determine and decide. And that he should take the right to put those for whom he has taken responsibility in their place. It used to be completely normal. Today an extra label has been found for it and in modern language it is called a domestic discipline relationship.